Wellness 6 min readAug 20, 2026

wellness mental health physical wellbeing PERMA self-care

I keep coming back to this thought: owning your own wellness and learning to take care of yourself is one of the most fundamental things a person can do, and yet it is so easily pushed aside.

This is part of a wellness series where I share my experience as a parent in Singapore, raising two kids under six, and what I have learned about taking better care of ourselves and our families.

A quick disclaimer before I go further. I am not a healthcare professional, and nothing shared here has been reviewed by the Health Promotion Board or any other statutory body or healthcare professional. Please consult a qualified healthcare professional and do your own due diligence before making any wellness decisions for yourself.

A Bit About Me

I am a wellness advocate, though really I think of myself as someone re-learning how to properly take care of myself, and eventually, my family. I have two kids, a boy and a girl, both under five. I have always tried my best to provide for them and my partner, which meant very little time left for myself. Wellbeing was not on my radar, not for me, not for my family. It was neglected, simply because it was never a priority.

Eventually, I felt stressed, drained, and unable to properly support my family. Things felt unhappy, and I fell into the trap of blaming everything around me.

Then, one day, I realized I was genuinely unhappy, and that I was responsible for my own happiness, and for how my mood affected the people around me. I started soul searching. I sought counselling, researched what could help my wellbeing, mentally and physically, and took online courses to help myself and the people I love. Things eventually took a turn for the better. It turns out mindset has the greatest impact of all. I am still walking this journey.

I realized I am probably not the only one on this path. Many of us share similar struggles in one way or another. So I thought, why not share what I have learned and what is working for me, in the hope it helps someone else learn to care for themselves too.

The Trap We All Fall Into

As working adults, or worse, working parents, we often forget how to take care of ourselves. We drown in work, pour our attention into loved ones, and commit to striving for the best at every stage of life: the best grades, the best paying job, working hard, staying current with trends and gossip. All of this often comes at the expense of our health and wellbeing.

When we are young, wellness is not top of mind. We have energy and health to spare, so we take it for granted while chasing everything else. Then we hit our thirties, and suddenly energy fades and health starts to decline, right as life gets more hectic. We work harder. We get married. We have kids. We keep chasing what is trending.

Meanwhile, we exercise less, our metabolism slows, and we gravitate toward convenient, tasty food over whole, healthy food. We feel more burnt out mentally, weighed down by stressors from every direction. Our social lives get quieter, no more late nights with old friends. We stay on top of the latest fashion, gadgets, gossip, bubble tea, and quick bites, but not our health. All our time and energy go to the people we love.

And then one day, everything comes to a head. We start questioning life, taking out our negativity on others, and slide into a midlife crisis. We forget the most fundamental thing: are we learning, or even remembering, how to take care of our own wellbeing? Because if we cannot take care of ourselves, does anything else we are chasing even matter?

I use "we," "us," and "our" instead of "you" deliberately, because you are not alone. I am walking this route right now, and I suspect many of you are too. If you have already got this figured out, I am genuinely happy for you, and I would love to learn from you. But if not, let us learn together.

Before we go further, take a breath, drink some water, and think of three positive things about today. I hope this post can be one of them.

Mind and Body: Two Halves of the Same Whole

There is mental wellbeing, and there is physical wellbeing. Mind and body. They are deeply interconnected, and we need to care for both. Only then can our wellbeing truly flourish.

Mental Wellbeing: The PERMA Model

In the world of psychology, there is a framework that has been gaining traction since it was introduced by Professor Martin Seligman in 1998: positive psychology. Unlike traditional psychology, which focuses on identifying and resolving the causes of misery, positive psychology teaches us how to build happiness and flourish. Its foundation is a model called PERMA:

• Positive Emotion
• Engagement
• Relationships
• Meaning
• Achievement

There are practical skills to strengthen each dimension: practicing gratitude and optimism, sometimes called the "three blessings" exercise, to build positive emotion; identifying and using your strengths for greater life satisfaction; active constructive responding to deepen relationships; and finding meaning through purpose or giving back. There is much more to explore, and I would recommend learning directly from Seligman himself through his course on Coursera. It has helped me shift away from pessimistic thinking that only does more damage to myself and the people around me.

Of course, it is important to seek help if you are facing mental health challenges. Seeking counselling should be seen as a normal part of maintaining mental health, not a last resort, alongside embracing positive psychology day to day. In Singapore, Fei Yue has been a great source of support for individuals, couples, and families, and their services are fully subsidized.

Physical Wellbeing: Beyond the Fragments

We tend to understand physical wellbeing in fragments. We know sleep matters, we know exercise matters, but these lessons are usually learned in isolation, even when we seek help from professionals.

I came across a wellness pyramid framework, developed by wellness company doTERRA, that reframes physical wellbeing holistically, much like how the food pyramid once gave us a complete picture of a balanced diet. Often, we focus on just one or two levels, eating salads, taking supplements, while neglecting movement or sleep entirely. This pyramid offers a checklist across every level, helping build a solid, complete foundation for physical wellbeing. I will be sharing more on this in an upcoming post.

Where We Go From Here

Taking care of our mental and physical wellbeing, holistically, is how we flourish. It is how we bloom.

I would love to hear from you. If you would like to learn more about the wellness pyramid, or if you are based in Singapore and would like to connect and go through this together, I welcome that.

See you in the next post. Take care of yourself, stay happy, and stay healthy.

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